After struggling to get noticed by New York Editors for a job as an editorial assistant (due to the fact that I live in Florida) I have decided to wait. I am now working as a receptionist so that I can save money and move to NY in one year and try again to get into publishing.
However my goal as a writer shouldn’t be paused for a year and there’s no reason it needs to be. Sooo…here’s my goal: To get published once. One story, one publication, one time.
I have constantly put this off saying I wasn’t ready or my stories still weren’t done or I didn’t know where to send them. The lie as evident on my face as the nose on Pinocchio.
I’m scared…terrified of rejection. That I’ll prove I’m not a real writer or not good enough. I’m afraid of exposing my writing to an experienced, critical eye. This is silly, because of course my stories have been seen by experienced critical eyes. It was hard to let them see it, but they always gave feedback that helped me and my stories to grow. And I survived the experience.
But still I
hesitate, because no matter what submitting your work for publication is a very real step towards becoming a writer and rejection is a very real part of that. So I set a goal for myself. I step closer towards the ravine. When I look to the other side I can see myself published. I glance down and choose to take a leap of faith that many before me have taken.
Although I am only twenty-three and am the baby at work I had a moment of panic because when I was little I imagined (unrealistically!) that I would have a bestseller by now. Of course reality is not born out of a little girl’s dreams.
So for now it is simply time to try.
